Still, no matter how much we prepare, none of us are completely accident-proof. Every aerialist who’s been in the game long enough has their fair share of “whoops” moments—I’m very blessed that all my injuries have been recoverable. Every single one has taught me something valuable. So, here are some of the mishaps that shaped me—what went down, how I got back up, and the lessons that stuck with me.

Injury: 2004 – Sprained neck from falling off a trapeze at Circus School

What happened:

Rehearsing for our end-of-session show at Circomedia, my duo partner’s legs accidentally released out of her knee hang while she was holding me. She tumbled off the bar and landed on top of me. I heard a scary “crack” in my neck and for a moment…I thought the worst. Luckily, it was just a sprain. But I was heartbroken that I wouldn’t be able to participate in our final show.

What I learned: I don’t know what I don’t know. Ask for expert guidance

My duo partner and I thought that just because we had learned how to mount with the base in catcher’s hang, we could simply change the basing position and apply the same techniques. We didn’t realize HOW much more advanced basing from a knee hang was vs. basing from a catcher’s hang.

Key point: We did not run this past our coaches first. This was a classic rookie mistake and it could have ended up a lot worse.

Injury: 2005 – Broken tailbone from falling off a yoga swing with no mat

What happened:

I fell off a yoga swing! Yes, you heard that right. Well, it was a bit more complicated, as this particular yoga swing had a pulley element and we were rehearsing for a performance. Still, they were extremely low to the ground and we were practicing over a wood floor with no mat. One side of the pulley slipped from my grip while I was experimenting, and I landed HARD on the wood floor, directly on my sacrum.

I was a young and excitable aerialist….so what did I do? I iced my owie, drove 2 hours to an aerial workshop, did 2 hours of aerial, and drove back.

Unfortunately the outcome of this one was pretty bad. I had to sit on a donut for about 5 years to avoid the pain. I later had a Pelvic PT tell me I had most likely broken my tailbone and it healed itself “crooked.” There’s aerial moves that I will never be able to do, as they put too much pressure on the tailbone.

What I learned: Use a mat whenever possible – as a default

Nowadays I use a mat whenever I can. Even if I’m low. Even if I’m doing things I’m comfortable with. EVEN when I perform. Yes, there are times when I’ll choose to go matless, but it needs to be a very intentional choice, and for a very good reason. As a rule, if I’m training, teaching, and ESPECIALLY experimenting, I will use a mat. (type and thickness will vary, depending on the application)

And yes, that includes any aerial yoga where my body leaves the ground.

Injury: 2015 Fell during a workshops demonstrating what NOT to do

What happened:

This one was pretty funny actually, but very unexpected and jarring in the moment. I was teaching a workshop and demonstrating exactly why a certain grip was a bad idea when—WHOOPS—I proved my point a little too well. I fell right off the silks, in front of everyone! The good news: I had a big ol’ crash mat and didn’t get hurt at all (except my ego ) While this was the least impactful fall I had, it was definitely the most embarrassing.

What I learned: Accidents can happen with simple moves, no matter how experienced you are

By this point, I had 12 years of experience and had demoed this exact mistake plenty of times before. But this fall was a humbling reminder that experience doesn’t make you invincible—sometimes, it just makes you forget to stay present. Also, be careful demonstrating common errors.

Injury: 2022 Back Injury – Cause unknown

What happened:

I bent over. That’s it. Anyone who has had their back “go out” knows exactly what I mean by this. I bent over, and all of the sudden was in excruciating pain.

This one was a doozy….I was grounded for 8+ months. Those who took workshops from me during that time will remember I was teaching everything via pre-recorded videos.

It took me about 1 to 2 years to recover from this one and I owe it all to my amazing PT and a ton of dedication from my end. (an hour of PT per day)

What I learned: Body balancing is KEY, your older self will thank you

Although the cause of this particular injury was ‘unknown,’ through the recovery process I untangled a lot of important clues about my body. I truly believe that most of this could have been avoided through better body balancing. What do I mean by that?

• Balancing sides of the body
• Balancing strength and flexibility
• Balancing push and pull
• Balancing lower body strength vs upper body strength (I had neglected my legs / hips)

Whelp! I hope some of my missteps can serve as some good reminders, and potentially help you to avoid similar events. At the end of the day, aerial arts—like life—is all about calculated risks. We train, we prepare, we do everything we can to stay safe, but sometimes, things still go sideways. The key is learning from those moments, adapting, and getting back up (preferably with a little more wisdom and maybe a well-placed mat).

The post Gravity Always Wins: My Most Memorable Aerial Mishaps appeared first on Paper Doll Militia.

Anyone who’s taken a dance class or two knows that there’s a structure to most dance classes. 1) Start with warm-up 2) move into technique practice and 3) finish with choreography. Meaning….you learn the teacher’s choreographed routine. (set to music!) This is one of the primary tools that dancers use when developing their craft.

It was ingrained in me early on that stepping into someone else’s choreography was an integral part of the artistic process. It wasn’t just about learning the moves—it was about learning how to move through someone else’s vision, and expanding your own creative style in the process.

So, when I found my way into the world of circus and aerial arts, I was actually a bit surprised to see the classes seemed to be missing this very important element. Of course it makes sense to be focused on building strength, skills and mastery of the apparatus, especially in the beginning. But once the student has developed enough skills and endurance to execute sequences that would be a ripe time to start learning aerial choreography, right? But when it comes to aerialists, the learning trajectory is often quite different.

It’s much more common to have the aerialist’s entry point into performance be… drum roll please….Act Creation! Usually in some form of student showcase event. A lot of attention (and pressure) is put on the student to create their own piece, and find their own unique style. Now don’t get me wrong, one of the things that I LOVE about aerial arts, that sets it apart from the path of the dancer or actor, is the permission to be your own artist and creator. Aerialists, by the nature of our art form, frequently create our own acts, embracing the freedom of personal style development. While this autonomy is fantastic, it leaves many aerialists with a gap in their education: learning other artists’ choreography.

Now I know I’m making a giant generalization, and there are some fantastic choreography classes out there that do exactly this…teach their students to learn aerial choreography. But I didn’t experience this in my own circus education at all. Then later, when traveling the world and visiting dozens upon dozens of studios I would say that this is the exception, not the rule.

Is it a sequence, or choreography?

Before we go any further, I think it’s important to distinguish the difference between an aerial sequence and a piece of choreography. An aerial sequence is the bones of the choreography. It’s the foundation that everything else will be layered upon. What are the layers? Musical cues, movement quality, gestures and dynamic tempo changes. Choreography also can introduce concept, story, and character work into the movement.

Ok, so what’s the benefit?

Why does this matter? Why should an aerialist spend time learning other people’s choreography? I see SO many benefits to this practice that are far-reaching and can transform your artistic practice in ways you might not expect.

1. Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

We all have certain moves, tricks, and sequences that we love to do. It’s what makes our style our style. But, sticking only to what you know can limit your growth. When you learn someone else’s choreography, you’re essentially stepping into their creative mind, pushing yourself to try movements you wouldn’t normally choose. This might mean learning new aerial transitions or even discovering unconventional ways of combining moves you already know.

I’ll be honest—there’s a vulnerability in learning choreography that’s different from creating your own. When you’re improvising or crafting a routine, you’re following your own creative impulses. It feels safe, familiar. But when you step into someone else’s choreography, you’re in unknown territory. You’re not just learning steps—you’re absorbing another person’s artistic vision, which can be uncomfortable at first.

Choreography, especially someone else’s, often requires you to move in ways that feel foreign. That’s a good thing. It stretches your movement vocabulary and shows you there’s more than one way to express the same idea in the air.

2. Expanding Your Movement Vocabulary

One of the best parts about learning choreography is gaining access to a completely different language of movement. Each choreographer brings their own life experience, body awareness, and creative vision into their work. When you learn choreography from someone else, you’re borrowing pieces of that language. Over time, this builds a rich movement vocabulary that you can draw on in your own work.

For aerialists, this is especially important because it helps break away from the common patterns and tricks we might get stuck in. Learning someone else’s choreography opens your eyes to different methods of storytelling, musicality, and spatial awareness. Bonus, it also challenges your body in ways that ultimately make you stronger and more versatile.

3. Finding Inspiration for Your Own Work

Ironically, one of the best ways to find your own voice as a performer is to dive into someone else’s. As you learn another’s choreography, you inevitably stumble upon moments that resonate with you—whether it’s a particular movement phrase, an emotional tone, or a way of transitioning between tricks. These moments plant seeds of inspiration that can later bloom into your own unique ideas.For aerialists, choreography can unlock new ideas for rigging, apparatus exploration, or even combining floor and aerial work in unexpected ways. By studying a variety of choreographic styles, you become more adept at crafting your own, developing a style that’s informed, rich, and distinctly yours.

4. It Opens Doors

Being able to learn and perform choreography is a skill that can set you apart. If you’re only accustomed to working solo, in your own style, you might miss out on group work, collaborative performances, or even the chance to tour with established companies.

Many choreographers and directors look for aerialists who are flexible not just physically but artistically—those who can adapt to different choreographic styles, learn material quickly, and bring a fresh perspective. If you’ve trained yourself to learn other people’s choreography, you’re giving yourself a valuable edge.

5. Cultivating Discipline and Focus

Learning choreography isn’t always easy. It requires discipline, attention to detail, and patience—all traits that are crucial for growth in the performing arts. You have to commit to remembering sequences, perfecting timing, and refining your technique. This focused practice helps build the discipline you need not just for aerial but for any creative endeavor.

For aerialists, this can be particularly challenging because the choreography may also involve timing your movements with rigging, understanding spatial awareness in the air. But with this challenge comes incredible reward, as you gain agility in both your mind and body.

Looking ahead – Work with us!

For aerialists who are used to flying solo in more ways than one, learning other people’s choreography might feel like a strange and unfamiliar path. But the benefits are undeniable (and it’s fun!) So, if your studio or instructor offers an opportunity to learn someone else’s choreography, take it! If you have a training group, try an exchange where each aerialist develops a short piece of choreography for the others to learn. You might just find that this practice unlocks new levels of artistry and creativity.

Many moons ago, I offered a choreography-based series at Kinetic Arts Center in Oakland, CA, and it was one of my favorite classes I’ve ever taught. Well, I’m getting back to it again, with a very special online workshop series with Saffron Van Rossem.Join us for a 3-part online workshop series, as we delve into concept-driven aerial choreography. Drawing from our current aerial theatre project, Homeostasis, which visually represents the human nervous system through rope and explores the “fight, flight, freeze, and fawn” responses, we’ll share our methods and discoveries.

Choreography Workshop on Aerial Silks | Surge: Fight Mode

With Rain Anya

Apparatus: Aerial Silks

Saturday, October 5th @ 2pm-4pm EST

Choreography Workshop on Aerial Sling | Soar: Flight Mode

With Saffron Van Rossem

Apparatus: Aerial Sling

Saturday, October 12th @ 2- 4pm EST

Creative Workshop on ANY apparatus | Somatic Theatre – The Stories of the Body

With Rain Anya & Saffron Van Rossem

Any Apparatus

Saturday, October 19th @ 2pm-4pm EST

Cost: $50 (live workshop or replay)

Only 8 slots available for each live workshop

These workshops are geared toward aerialists at an intermediate or advanced level.

All proceeds go towards the production costs of creating Homeostasis, an aerial theatre production currently in its development phase. In the United States, raising funds for the arts is an ongoing challenge, as creative projects often struggle to receive the financial backing they deserve. By supporting working artists, you help sustain the lifeblood of cultural innovation, ensuring that vital stories and unique perspectives continue to reach and inspire communities. For those who would like to donate additional funds toward the project, here’s a link to donate.

The post Borrowed Moves, Original Growth: The Art of Learning Choreography appeared first on Paper Doll Militia.

My grandmother was a world traveler. In her 101 years of living on this planet she traveled to over 40 countries! As a child, I remember all the unique trinkets and crafts she brought back from her adventures abroad. I also remember how interesting and well-traveled she always seemed. She truly was a woman of the world.

Grandma and Grandpa passed down their wanderlust to our whole family. I grew up peeking through a beautiful window into the vastness of this world. When I was 16, Grandma arranged a special trip just for her and I. She brought me to London to indulge my theater obsession by going to see some West End Musicals. I found myself surprised and delighted with all the nuanced differences between British and American culture; a country I mistakenly thought would be so similar to mine. Curious and intrigued, I developed a taste for experiencing new places, people, and experiences.

I learned from early on that traveling is not just about having a fun time, or going on an adventure. It’s a powerful perspective shift  that can have lasting effects on a person’s body, mind and spirit. It can be life changing.

I vowed to always make travel a top priority in my life, even when resources were limited. I started working at a cafe when I was 15 to save up for a summer program in NYC. At 21, I used the car insurance payout on my totaled car to travel to circus school in Bristol, England. (Yes, there’s a theme here. Learning while traveling is my jam.) In fact, this December, I’m diving into a week-long Spanish Immersion course in Mexico City. It’s my perfect combo: exploring a new place while staying engaged through learning.​

I have a theory as to why traveling is so powerful for personal growth. It’s because traveling is actually a disruptor. You’re taken out of your routines and comfortable surroundings and thrown into a daily experience of novelty and unexpected paths. Travel stretches you in new, unpredictable ways. Yes, this can sometimes be scary, which is why it can be so helpful to set up a safe container on your travels. A place where you know your needs will be taken care of, and you’ll have like-minded people to share the experience with.​

Which is why I felt so aligned to the idea of starting up an aerial retreat, back in 2017 when we created our first retreat offering. I found that aerial retreats are not just about going to a beautiful place and pressing the reset button (although that’s definitely part of it). They’re an opportunity to discover new facets of yourself and expand your worldview. Aerial retreats aren’t just getaways; they’re gateways to personal growth and expanding your global community.I’ll forever remain thankful to what I learned from my Grandmother, and the rest of my travel-happy family. (Fun side note: my brother is currently getting his PHD in Slavic studies and about to spend a year in Kazakhstan) I’m thrilled that I have found a way to share this love of travel to aerialists in my community who feel a similar passion.

Aerialist Lexii Grim | Photo Marie Lu Vinh

​ Looking for a unique travel opportunity while you develop your aerial skills & artistry? Come join us at Casa Chango this Nov / Dec.

Casa Chango is is an eco chic artist retreat center nestled in the tropical forest. Eat healthy, home cooked Mexican food. Attend aerial workshops from Sarah and Rain in a stunning open air circus gym with a view. And experience the beauty that Puerto Escondido has to offer. 

The Deets: Aerial Escapades At Casa Chango​

Watch a short video about Casa Chango 

Silks and Sling – All levels welcome (group structure)

Dates:

November 30 – Dec 7, 2024 – Only 2 spots left!

December 7-14, 2024 – Only 2 spots left!

“A unique opportunity to learn from some of the best instructors in the aerial world and make new friends from all over the world in a gorgeous location. I just loved it!” Daniela Mileva, Austria – Paper Doll Retreats

The post Lessons from my Grandmother appeared first on Paper Doll Militia.

Have you been experiencing a dose of artistic inertia? In my lifelong pursuit of a creative life I’ve definitely encountered my fair share. In the process, I’ve been lucky enough to gather and develop tools that have helped me plow through challenges and supercharge my creative process along the way. I’m excited to share some of my lessons with you today.

But before we jump in…let me start by saying, this topic is NOT JUST for those who make a living in some kind of artistic career. This is for anyone who has a creative practice, especially those who want to nurture that practice. And hey, if you’re reading this, you’re most likely somehow involved in aerial or circus arts (or you’re my mom…hi mom!). Well then, guess what? You have a creative practice. Unless you are ONLY conditioning on your apparatus, I’m going to guess that you are engaging in some creative pursuits in your aerial work.

Because at its roots, aerial arts is an expressive art form.

It’s not gymnastics; it’s not sports acrobatics. Even if your primary goal is fitness-based, you have chosen to do your fitness activities in a format that has arisen from a performative art. For example, when I find a shape in the air that feels good to my body, I am making a creative choice; I am spending a moment in my art.

So from the seasoned performer to the recreational hobbyist, let’s agree that we are all artists, ok? (If you identify as an aerialist who’s not an artist, I’m totally cool with that and not here to argue, but most likely the rest of this blog is not really written with you in mind.)

Any artist will tell you, the road is never straight nor without challenges. I know I’m not the only one who struggles to carve out quality creative time or suffers from a lack of inspiration. Recently, I’ve encountered an overabundance of creative ideas, which has resulted in decision fatigue and artistic inertia. Though our challenges will morph and change, having some solid creative tools can go a long way. I do have some tricks up my sleeve and I’m inspired to share them with you today.

I’ve distilled today’s lessons into three tips. That’s because life is overwhelming as it is, and I think advice is always easier to digest in threes.

Tip # 1: Show up Relentlessly and Embrace Unproductivity

I’m a person who has always had high expectations for myself—a perfectionist through and through. I used to come to a training session or rehearsal with a long list of things I wanted to achieve.

Sometimes I would meet my laundry list of goals, sure, but usually, the creative process has other plans in mind. It’s a messy, non-linear trajectory with unexpected detours and left turns. When we put a productivity filter on top of the creative process, it’s like trying to fit an octopus into a sock. It just doesn’t fit.

Inevitably, I would leave feeling dejected, like I failed. It’s so much harder to bounce back into an inspired state if I’m stuck wallowing in the disappointment of the outcome.

Fast forward to the pandemic. I was extremely lucky to have an aerial setup in my living room, so I could still keep up with aerial work. Unfortunately, all my motivation had simply flown out the window. I had to come up with some new strategies to get my butt in the air.

It was around that time when I switched my goal to literally one thing: move my body.

What I did in that movement session didn’t matter because I had already achieved my goal just by showing up. Some days were extremely productive, inspiring, or fulfilling. Others were a wash. But with this mindset shift, I was able to allow for a new approach to training that is more flexible, more compassionate, and honestly, more realistic.

My relationship with my creative practice totally changed when I started putting this into practice. And even now, when we’re past the pandemic, I still arrive at every movement session with the same mindset. The most important thing is that I show up for my craft; anything fruitful that comes out of it is a pure bonus.

Tip #2: Align your Inner Needs with External Spaces

To really dive into this second tip, you first need to find out what your inner artist needs. I can’t stress this enough…this is a lifelong process and it is not static. It will change as you change. But nevertheless, you must embark on this journey for yourself.

In the pursuit of crafting a creative incubator, we will look at our external environment. Let me give a couple of examples to help clarify.

Some artists thrive around other people, in a constant state of input and ideas coming in from all directions. For this artist, being creative in a busy aerial studio might be exactly what they need.

A different artist may need to remove all distractions in order to truly focus in on their ideas. For this artist, they may want to consider applying to a residency program in a rural location, to cut themselves off from the demands of daily life. People are different, and therefore our ideal creative environments will be different.

Let’s consider another extremely important element of our external environment: time. When do you feel most creative? Is it in the early morning, in those magic hours before the rest of the world wakes up? Is it mid-afternoon when the sun is high and everything is buzzing with energy? (This is mine.) Or maybe you are a night owl who, like poets and painters of old, takes your inspiration from Lady Moon and quiet moments.

We can take this idea of timing even further. Do you like to work on a project in short, exciting bursts? Or do you like slow processes with time to ruminate and space between sessions? (For me, it’s the slow burn.)

We can see just how important it is to truly know yourself so that you can craft the perfect incubation environment. Once you’ve identified your inner artist’s needs, then begins the work of fighting for your art. Which brings us to tip #3.

Tip # 3 Fight For Your Art

I don’t mean you need to put up fisticuffs. By this, I mean “carve out time and space for your art.” But those words just aren’t strong enough to reflect the immense effort necessary in a world that is constantly vying for your attention and time. We often have to try and fit in our creative practice between the tiny cracks of our mountains of other responsibilities and concerns. I’m not only speaking to those with 9-to-5 jobs. I am a perfect case in point. I make a living through aerial arts, so you might think I have the luxury of doing my art whenever I feel inspired. If you think this…you would be wrong.

In order to make a living, I run a business that includes many facets of my art. I STILL have to fight for my creative time. I can’t tell you how common it is for me to get sucked into admin tasks, meetings, project proposals, applications, life responsibilities, etc., and another day has gone by where I didn’t even so much as look at my creative projects or move my body.

For so many of us, we’re in a precarious juggling act, dealing with our most important survival needs, caring responsibilities, and just… so. much. adulting. Spending our time and energy on art and play can easily get pushed to the bottom of the list. That’s why we have to fight for our art.

The topic of HOW to best fight for our art is perhaps too big to tackle for this blog, but when I look at the tools and tactics that I use to fight for my art, one in particular stands out: using external accountability measures. Here are a couple of examples of what this looks like in my life:

1. Signing up for a class, workshop, or outside project. For example, just yesterday, I signed up for this cool Creation Workshop that I put on my calendar for next month. It’s contemporary dance-focused, which is a bit out of my comfort zone (also another great topic for a different post) and signing up (and paying for it) holds me accountable to dedicate the time and space to nurturing my craft.

2. Committing to a project deadline before it’s completed. Whew! This is a scary one. But I can’t tell you how many times this has lit the fire of my creative practice in a very tangible way. Sure, sometimes it can backfire and create an undue amount of stress. That’s why you must also become good at being realistic in your deadlines (estimate 2x the amount of time you think it will take!). A recent example for me was when I committed to being a part of the Touching Two Worlds show this past May with only the seed of an idea for a new act. But my deadline was realistic and this it was the exact thing I needed to jumpstart this new act concept.

There are many other practical tools that can help you carve out time, energy, and attention for your creative practice. I highly recommend reading the book Deep Work for other insightful strategies, such as time blocking, which has also been a huge help to me on this front. Yes, this is a book that primarily deals with deep work in a business context, but the concepts are highly transferable, and the author uses many examples of artists throughout history who have a commitment to deep work.

Do you want to be notified when we publish our next blog post? Sign up for our Newsletter here.

Inspired to take action steps toward your own creative process? We’d love for you to join us for our Aerial Escapades Retreat in Mexico in 2024. Every afternoon we work with creativity, theatricality and finding your own aerial voice using our Vertical Theatre Method. This is a super inspiring way to focus in on your craft while having an adventure at the same time! For more information click here.

The post Show Up Relentlessly, Embrace Unproductivity appeared first on Paper Doll Militia.

I can’t wait to dive in and tell you all about the juicy discoveries we made in our recent creation residency. But before I get too far, I feel this needs a bit of background information.

The project is called Homeostasis, and it’s based on and around the human nervous system. The apparatus is an aerial sculpture that was created in collaboration with Shibari artist, Kemo Burns, back in January of 2022. The ropes are tied together using the intricate workings of this Japanese art form.

I started to tackle the challenge of maneuvering on this giant jungle gym of ropes back in April 2022, in a duo piece with Lena Alani. In this initial performance, we really got to explore what’s possible in terms of movement and imagery.

Fast forward to August of 2023, where Saffron Van Rossem joined me in Los Angeles for a self-imposed artist residency.

Here’s where I really feel I need to take a moment to explain. (especially for those who may live in more funded countries). Getting arts funding in the United States is hard. Hard is an understatement, so I’ll paint a picture. I’ve been creating original work for 18 years, and received 3 U.S. based grants within that time frame. In my experience, financial support for artistic work primarily comes either from crowdfunding or the artist’s personal investment.

But I’m an artist through and through, and it’s not an option to NOT make art. So what do I do…? Create my own artist residency. So Saffron and I carved out a full two weeks to focus and commit to the creative process. (Very hard to do…fellow small business owners, I know you get it.)

We assembled our Circus Gear rig in the backyard and set a rehearsal schedule that worked around the hot days of summer in Los Angeles. We were ready…our heads swimming with ideas, and equipped with plenty of bug spray.

Ok, now here’s the part where I get to fill you in on the inside scoop on our creative process and the interesting discoveries we made.

Homeostasis is about the nervous system…a truly fascinating subject that scientists, psychologists, and the general public are learning more and more about every day.

Our mornings started with research, both cognitive and physical. We would start by reading a section from our residency bible, Complex PTSD, then choose concepts that felt poignant and create improvisational exercises to explore. Through physicalizing the material, we would often have some kind of “ah-ha”moment; a direct result of embodying the feeling rather than intellectualizing it.

A lot of our research concerns our bodies’ natural survival responses; fight, flight, freeze and fawn. As individuals AND as a society, we can easily get stuck in these responses and our nervous system rarely gets an opportunity to rest or down-regulate. Many therapists and somatic practitioners have techniques to help people come back to a place of homeostasis, or balance. A process like this is called co-regulation.

One of our primary inquiries is around co-regulation. This feels particularly compelling to us, in dealing with our own personal habitual responses, and also in learning about how to support our loved ones when they’re struggling with their mental health.

Day after day, we dissected and explored a concept, both on the floor and in the air. Here are some of the highlights of our discoveries.

When embodying “flight” we organically moved into synchronized movement and found a deep comfort in this. Later, when talking with a somatic therapist we learned about the physiological reason for this….this taps into “mirror neurons” by mirroring the body language of the person stuck in flight mode.

We learned about somatic techniques for co-regulation when a person is stuck in a “freeze” state. By slowly titrating in gentle, rhythmic movement a person can start to become unstuck….in body, mind, and spirit.

When embodying “fight” mode we tapped into a profound anger, and recognized the deep aversion to looking inward. This inspired using a mirror in our improvisations, recognizing the need to face yourself as an essential catalyst for the healing journey.

We grieved over our own relationship to “fawning,” recognizing the deeply entrenched pressures of (in particular) women in our society, and how people pleasing shows up and casts a shadow over our authentic selves.

While western psychology is starting to become more body-centric in integrating these physically based techniques, these are healing practices that have been used for centuries within indigenous and tribal communities. This is why dance, movement, and ritual are integral to our individual and collective health.

So yeah, this stuff goes deep, and we often found ourselves needing to keep ourselves in check during the residency. Making art is challenging, and there’s a certain amount of stress that creates a healthy resiliency. But also we had to confront our own tendencies to push past those lines.

Because, how can we make a piece whose central thesis surrounds the need for down-regulation, while simultaneously putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves for our time and outcome…all in the name of productivity.

All in all, it was a rich and enlightening experience and we are most excited for how far this project can go. We are building an educational component which will complement the performance work. We found first hand how powerful it can be to gain insight on these topics through physical play and experiential learning.

Please reach out if you have any ideas, contacts, or resources that you think would be a good fit for this project. We are specifically seeking relationships with individuals and organizations who specialize in mental health through a somatic lens.

– Rain Anya, Co-artistic Director of Paper Doll Militia

The post Reflections from an Artist Residency appeared first on Paper Doll Militia.

for the pandemic

I’ve been a freelancer, self-employed artist and small business owner for my entire adult life. In honor of Independence Day (here in the United States), I want to share how my experience as a freelancer has led me down a path of freedom, chaos, and resilience.

From an early age, I’ve always been someone who carves their own path. Whether it was expressing myself through colorful, quirky clothing in high school, or creating a self-designed major in college and then embarking on a journey of forming a performance company in my early 20’s.

Choosing a freelancer lifestyle comes with some undeniable perks…. the freedom to create your own schedule and pursue your dreams and passions. But anyone who has tried it knows, there’s a lot of challenges that come with those freedoms. It requires a ton of self-motivation. It can also be extremely difficult to create boundaries and create a healthy work/life balance.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced is the unpredictability and instability that comes with this lifestyle; including financial insecurity, which is why so many of us artists constantly find ourselves in survival mode.

Spinning plates is perhaps the most accurate metaphor I’ve heard for being a freelancer. (and appropriately circus themed) It can feel like all the different projects I have carefully balanced could come tumbling down at any given moment. 

I’ve had periods where my schedule is volatile and unpredictable. One minute I’m feeling the lack of job opportunities and then the next minute I have TOO many options, most of which conflict with one another. One client needs a commitment from me, while the other needs me to have a flexible schedule.

The very nature of being an artist demands us to continually dive into the deep unknown with no reassurance that anything fruitful or productive will come from our efforts. It requires embracing the vulnerability of the creative process so that we can make our art. Sometimes, I’ve dived in head first, sometimes I’ve tiptoed in, dragging my heels and protesting “but what if this fails?” Just the same, there’s no way through but forward and every artist knows this firsthand.

So how has this experience of running my own show prepared me for the pandemic (if you read the title, you might be asking)? When the covid19 pandemic hit, after we all realized this situation would be sticking around longer than just a couple weeks (remember that?), it really started to sink in. I have no control over anything, and the future is anyone’s guess. Making plans was futile, because we were all on the edge of our seats waiting for some clarity, or guidance, or ANYthing to help us make sense of what to do next.

And when I was in the thick of it, grasping for answers, I remembered….. I already know how to navigate the chaos of uncertainty, I’ve been practicing my entire life. I’ve proven to myself time and time again that I can meet unexpected curveballs with resourcefulness and grit. These are the skills you are forced to build when you carve your own way. Didn’t get that residency? OK, I’ll figure out a way to create my own DIY residency. Bank account running low? Better create a new workshop offering, promote it, and reach out to all my contacts.

I’ve learned to trust in my own resilience. Because that’s what you have to do when you’re your own boss. There’s no one “above” to turn to for the answers. Of course, I have been extremely lucky to have Sarah along for the ride right next to me. A business partner and collaborator, so we can do our girl-bossing together.

For many of us control-freaks (self-proclaimed) the Pandemic was an exercise in forced surrender. No matter how much I wanted to plan, and come up with solutions, it was clear that the entire world could turn on a dime. And do you know what, I’m really grateful for that. I think it woke me up just a little bit. Helped me to not take everything for granted. Because the truth is, after 20 years as a freelancer and/or small business owner my life has gotten more stable and even more predictable.  That is, until March of 2020. So I guess I should thank covid19 for reminding me of my own resilience and the impermanence of everything. 

Written by Rain Anya – Co-artistic Director | Paper Doll Militia

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